“At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”
He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.” (Matthew 18:1-5)

I had a dream a few nights back.

In it a young minister that I am friends with was sitting in a cubicle next to me.

Into his cubicle came a very well known minister–one that I have admired for almost 10 years, but with whom I have never personally had any relationship.

In this dream I learned that the young man in the cubicle was in a close relationship with this minister.  He was actually working for him.

I got so angry that I woke up, jumped out of my bed, and ran into the bathroom screaming at God because of His lack of justice.

Ambition!

It consumes me at times. I desire things that are not godly and wanting them does my heart harm.

I have three young boys at home and another on the way. I still don’t really know what it means to be childlike as in the context of this scripture.

I wish I was like a child but I don’t think I am.

In fact I would have to say that I am more like a man when it comes to this.

I am aware of the question always rolling through my heart, “Who is the greatest living today in the Kingdom?”

Even yesterday I was looking at the ministry of a young man in the US, who was 26 years old.

He already has a TV ministry, a recognized worldwide evangelistic and healing ministry. I thought to myself, “Why not me, Lord?”

This is the truth!  Ambition at times consumes my heart.

If I didn’t tell you this you would still likely know the truth of it because you can probably see my motivations more than I.

My desire is to become like Christ and to die to the need for recognition.  Yet I continue on and on in ambition, so what is my real desire. Only God can truly judge this.

I pray that in the end I will have learned to really love my neighbor and to put my brother above myself.

I pray that I will be able to lift people into higher spots than myself and rejoice when my brother seems to succeed more than I.

I pray that peace will come into your heart and mine in the face of this distraction so that we will be able to accomplish much for Christ despite this failing in our characters.

May Holy Spirit help us “become like little children” for Christ.