True Confession time…I used to take offense quite readily, usually when someone levelled any kind of criticism at me or tried to offer correction, even gently.

Not only would I take offense, but I would also let the offense percolate within my spirit until it brewed into a dark substance that was not good for me or anyone else. (and I’m not talking coffee, catch my drift?)

All of that began to change when I heard my spiritual father Steve Long make this declaration at a Pastors’ gathering one day:

“Whenever I get angry at what someone says or does, I ask: ‘Holy Spirit, what is in me that made me react the way I did?’”

Frankly, I was taken aback by Steve’s admission. After all, I would always ask another question: “Father, what is inside of them that made them say/do what they did?”

Then I would plead for prophetic insight into their generational iniquity, their emotional disability or lack of spiritual sensitivity.

To put it bluntly, I would play the blame game.

Steve’s response turned the tables on me. It was a practical working out of obedience to Jesus’ words in Matthew 7:3-5: “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”

Suffice it to say that I am not quite there where Steve has disciplined himself to be. I often fire a volley back (sometimes a backhand shot) before asking the crucial question of myself.

But, I must also admit that whenever I have asked Holy Spirit to take me to the root of what is producing the fruit of offense, He has always delivered and, in the process, delivered me from allowing that offense to grow into a bitter root…praise God!

Case in point. I got very upset at a group of people in a church business meeting over an issue. I was embarrassed by the charge levelled against me and felt helpless, as no one would come to my defense. My upset led to an angry outburst.

Before the meeting ended, I knew that there was something not right within me. When I asked Holy Spirit to take me to the root, He took me to an incident that happened in Grade 7 (40+ years back).

Our assignment in Science class was to draw a picture of the renal system and identify the various parts, etc. My teacher looked at my rendition, showed it to the whole class and said something like: “See, this Jeeva here. He is a very smart student, but he can’t draw worth a darn. Look at these kidneys. They look more like buttocks.”

Of course, the entire class erupted in derisive laughter. The entire class minus one.

As I recalled the incident, I began to re-live the pain. Once I forgave Mr. A for what he did that day, a peace came over me. I have noticed that I don’t react quite that vehemently anymore when criticized.

By the way, I have identified a quick way to diagnose whether you have offense in your system or not. Are you ready for it?

If you sense a need to offer a spirited defense of what you said/did, you may still be holding on to offense.

When that happens, would you follow the Long way to freedom? Just dare to ask why.