Over the past few years, Sulojana and I have been taking healing of the heart quite seriously.

We have gone through an entire “Healing Week” through Restoring The Foundations.

We have gone through several sessions of Sozo ministry each. As a matter of fact, along with a number of people from our congregations, we have taken the required training to be released as Sozo ministers ourselves.

Through all of these prayer ministry sessions, we have learned how to deal with offense swiftly and not give it any room to grow. After all, the last thing we need is a bitter root “to cause trouble and defile many.” (Hebrews 12:15)

Yet, the fact of the matter is that we still take offense…perhaps not as much as we used to at one time, but offense is still not absolutely absent from our system.

I made a statement in church last Sunday that I can honestly say that I do not hold an offense against anyone at all. (You can listen to/download the entire message here.)

The reason I can say this is because I have learned to deal with offense quickly and get it out of my spirit as soon as possible before it has a chance to turn into a bitter root.

However, I still get offended, and that too, sometimes quite swiftly. In other words, I am still quite sensitive to what is being said about me.  

Is this par for the course? Should you just accept the fact that you can never completely be free from receiving/taking offense?

I used to think so, until I was challenged by one of the founders of Sozo, Dawna DaSilva, to realize that we can actually be unoffendable.

Unoffendable? That was quite a stretch to even contemplate.

Yet, when we look at the life of Jesus, we see that even though he had so many opportunities to take offense and respond with hurt, he never did. He was able to respond with love. He freely forgave with no difficulty.

It was as though Jesus was wearing an offense-repellant. When the offense came flying toward him, it simply bounced off him. The offense didn’t even have a chance to enter him and affect his spirit.

But, you protest, that was Jesus. Is it possible for you and me?

Do you recall this promise from Scripture? God says: “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh” (Ezek. 36:26).

As a citizen of the Kingdom, as a recipient of the New Covenant, we realize that God has given us a new heart already. And He has given us Holy Spirit.

Holy Spirit in a new heart helps us to become unoffendable. And stay that way.

Now you know why David prayed these words in Psalm 51: “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.”

As we conclude this week’s focus on experiencing At.One.Ment with one another, let this be your prayer as well.

True Confession time…I used to take offense quite readily, usually when someone levelled any kind of criticism at me or tried to offer correction, even gently.

Not only would I take offense, but I would also let the offense percolate within my spirit until it brewed into a dark substance that was not good for me or anyone else. (and I’m not talking coffee, catch my drift?)

All of that began to change when I heard my spiritual father Steve Long make this declaration at a Pastors’ gathering one day:

“Whenever I get angry at what someone says or does, I ask: ‘Holy Spirit, what is in me that made me react the way I did?’”

Frankly, I was taken aback by Steve’s admission. After all, I would always ask another question: “Father, what is inside of them that made them say/do what they did?”

Then I would plead for prophetic insight into their generational iniquity, their emotional disability or lack of spiritual sensitivity.

To put it bluntly, I would play the blame game.

Steve’s response turned the tables on me. It was a practical working out of obedience to Jesus’ words in Matthew 7:3-5: “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”

Suffice it to say that I am not quite there where Steve has disciplined himself to be. I often fire a volley back (sometimes a backhand shot) before asking the crucial question of myself.

But, I must also admit that whenever I have asked Holy Spirit to take me to the root of what is producing the fruit of offense, He has always delivered and, in the process, delivered me from allowing that offense to grow into a bitter root…praise God!

Case in point. I got very upset at a group of people in a church business meeting over an issue. I was embarrassed by the charge levelled against me and felt helpless, as no one would come to my defense. My upset led to an angry outburst.

Before the meeting ended, I knew that there was something not right within me. When I asked Holy Spirit to take me to the root, He took me to an incident that happened in Grade 7 (40+ years back).

Our assignment in Science class was to draw a picture of the renal system and identify the various parts, etc. My teacher looked at my rendition, showed it to the whole class and said something like: “See, this Jeeva here. He is a very smart student, but he can’t draw worth a darn. Look at these kidneys. They look more like buttocks.”

Of course, the entire class erupted in derisive laughter. The entire class minus one.

As I recalled the incident, I began to re-live the pain. Once I forgave Mr. A for what he did that day, a peace came over me. I have noticed that I don’t react quite that vehemently anymore when criticized.

By the way, I have identified a quick way to diagnose whether you have offense in your system or not. Are you ready for it?

If you sense a need to offer a spirited defense of what you said/did, you may still be holding on to offense.

When that happens, would you follow the Long way to freedom? Just dare to ask why.

Right after Jesus talks about leaving your offering behind and being reconciled first with your brother/sister (Matthew 5:23-24), he says: “Settle matters QUICKLY with your adversary who is taking you to court.”

The Greek word “tachu” which is translated “quickly” carries a sense of urgency with it. Do it now. Without delay. Immediately.

One of the reasons why Jesus wants us to deal with offense right away is explained in Hebrews 12:14-15: “Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.”

He wants no bitter root to grow in us.

Has this ever happened in your garden? When you see a small weed sprouting up, if you remove it right away, it’s an easy task. Leave it in for any length of time, now you’re dealing with a deep root and it becomes quite a chore to pull it out.

When offense is left unattended in the soil of our hearts, it can turn into a bitter root that is not only difficult to remove, but it also ends up poisoning our spirit with bitterness.

Earlier this year, we released a DWOD which amplifies this truth. Would you kindly take 5 minutes to (re-) read it and follow the prescription given there to get rid of the bitter root?

It will go a long way toward helping you experience at.one.ment with one another.

At the recent Catch the Fire Conference in Toronto, my pastor friend Duncan Smith made the statement that is the title of this post.

Offense is seldom given and always taken.

It took me some time to digest…and when I did, it dawned on me how true it really was.

The Lord reminded me of a time when Sulojana and I were ministering prophetically to a roomful of people. After the meeting ended, one of the people who received ministry wanted to talk to me.

I was quite excited to talk to her, because the general consensus was that she got the “best” words that evening. They were incredibly uplifting, encouraging and edifying. At least that’s what I thought, until she started talking.

She said that even though the words were very good and resonated with her spirit, she felt that I had implied that she had not been progressing as much as she already had in her walk with the Lord. And that hurt her very, very much.

Sulojana, who had been watching the conversation between the two of us, came to me afterwards and wondered what it was all about. When I shared with her the feedback I had received, she was just as bewildered as I was.

Clearly, offense had been taken where no offense was meant.

Dear friend, this is a reality that you and I need to be aware of. Correction, we need to accept it as a fact of life.

Even when you do not intend to cause offense, there is always the very real possibility that someone will take offense and be hurt.

Even Jesus had to deal with it.

In John 6, we read that Jesus had just finished delivering these words: “Very truly I tell you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. ⁵⁴ Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day. ⁵⁵ For my flesh is real food and my blood is real drink. ⁵⁶ Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me, and I in them.”

Granted this is not the most easily understood teaching of Jesus. He goes on to say: “This is the bread that came down from heaven. Your ancestors ate manna and died, but whoever feeds on this bread will live forever.”

Upon hearing these words, we are told that some of his disciples (outside the circle of Twelve) took offense to them. They said: “This is a hard teaching. Who can accept it?” Aware that his disciples were grumbling about this, Jesus said to them, “Does this offend you?” (John 6:60-61)

Did Jesus intend to offend them? Obviously not! Yet, they took offense. Watch how he handles it.

He does not dwell on it. He does not retaliate. He does not defend Himself. He is saddened by it. Listen to these poignant words with which He addresses the chosen dozen: “You do not want to leave too, do you?”

Have you ever run into a similar situation? How did you handle it? If you got offended in return, perhaps now is the time to confess and ask forgiveness.

If you haven’t had to go through such an experience yet, I’ve got news for you. As long as you have family, as long as you have co-workers and neighbours, as long as you are part of a church…you will, sooner or later.

When it happens, don’t be shocked! Because, offense is seldom given and always taken.

Jesus would concur.

A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense. (Proverbs 19:11)

A few weeks back, four of us were having breakfast at a restaurant. Two of us were really hungry and ordered a full breakfast. The other two ordered oatmeal porridge.

When the waitress brought the porridge over, it was quite obvious to us that it needed some “fixing” up prior to consumption. So, I politely asked for some milk and some raisins, only to be treated by what I would politely describe as a murderous look. (You know the “if looks could kill” kind!)

She grudgingly agreed to bring us some milk, but stated quite flatly: “We do not serve raisins in this restaurant.”

At that point, I should have kept my mouth shut, but found myself blurting out: “Even McDonald’s serves raisins and diced apples with their oatmeal porridge!” Although, in all fairness, I said these words with a smile on my face to soften the blow. (as I had learned from Dale Carnegie!)

Let’s just say that the smile was not contagious. As a matter of fact, it boomeranged with a frown the length of Texas and a look which now had murderous rage written all over it, as if to say: “This is not McDonald’s, ding-dong!” (You were wrong, Dale! A smile is not always reciprocated)

In any event, she brought milk and some craisins instead and set the container on the table with a bang. No diced apples, though J I dared not ask for more.

At an earlier stage in my life, I would’ve demanded to see the manager and filed a complaint. Chances are the Indian in me would’ve come away with a free meal coupon to atone for the waitress’s abominable behaviour.

I could’ve taken offense, but, by God’s grace, chose to overlook it and give her the benefit of the doubt. She was probably just having a bad hair day, you know!

A few hours later, all of us were at lunch with more friends, when one of them recalled her experience at the same restaurant a couple of nights earlier. She too was appalled at the rudeness of the waitress. As we compared notes regarding her height, colour of hair, etc., we discovered that every day was probably a bad hair day for this lady J

We still found it difficult to take offense, though. After all, she could be living under circumstances that are less than ideal and highly stressful every day.

The best option was to simply overlook her offense.

King Solomon says that “it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.”

Easier said than done, though, isn’t it? Perhaps it is easy to overlook an offense in a situation like the one I encountered.

What about more serious situations? When someone attacks your character or questions your motives? Or worse hurts you in the process? Would you still be able to overlook an offense?

When we look at the life of Jesus, he clearly demonstrated this response to offense, didn’t he? The most striking illustration is when he lay dying on the cross: “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34).

Stephen, as he was being stoned to death, said something similar, did he not? “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” (Acts 7:60)

Both Jesus, who chose to lay aside his divinity and live in every way as we do—fully human, and his follower Stephen, were able to overlook even the most grievous offence.

The key?

They were both “full of the Holy Spirit.” (Luke 4:1, Acts 7:55)

Dear friend, when you are full of the Holy Spirit, you too can overlook an offense, any offense, even offense leading to death. Amen?

Ask Him to fill you up once again today…and every day…so that Proverbs 19:11 becomes a reality in your life on a daily basis.

Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates a brother or sister is still in the darkness. Anyone who loves their brother and sister lives in the light, and there is nothing in them to make them stumble. But anyone who hates a brother or sister is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness. They do not know where they are going, because the darkness has blinded them. (I John 2:9-11)

In this passage, the apostle John warns us about one of the greatest dangers inherent in holding an offense against another.

We walk around in darkness.

Did you notice how the darkness comes about? It is not an external darkness that descends upon us.

It is an internal darkness that comes as a result of us being blinded.

Have you ever had this happen to you? I have.

I recall vividly a time when I had taken offense at something a leader had said. From that point onward, anything he said sounded suspicious to me. I could not see anything redemptive about anything he said or did. Or I would attach a judgment to what he said either to my face or in his correspondence to me.

One day, I received an e-mail that bothered me considerably. With lightning speed, I composed a rather harsh response. But, instead of e-mailing it right away, I obeyed the prompting of the Holy Spirit and sent it to a trusted friend within the same congregation for his feedback.

He read my response and patiently pointed out that he had known this man longer than I had. And while he did not agree with the content of the e-mail, he did not see any of the suspicious overtones that I had spotted. As a matter of fact, he assured me that what I saw was not there at all—neither in the e-mail nor in the character of its author.

Since I trusted my friend, I took his feedback to heart and decided not to send the response that I had composed.

It became obvious to me that I had been seeing this man through offense-coloured bifocals. I had become blinded to the reality that was staring me in the face.

Dear friend, this is a snare of the enemy. He wants to get us so wrapped up in our offense that we cannot see the truth that is right before us.

Take some time now and ask Holy Spirit to show you anyone whom you may have been viewing through the eyes of offense.

Perhaps it is a member of your family. Or a co-worker. A neighbhour. A babysitter. A televangelist. A pastor or other church leader. A member of your small group. A politician.

When He does show you someone, would you then have the humility to admit that you have sinned, repent and ask Holy Spirit to remove the offense from your spirit and the eyes of your heart?

Please don’t let offense keep you blinded. Let it go, so you can experience greater at.one.ment with one another, as the Lord desires. Will you?

I hope so. I pray so. Let it be so.

Congratulations to all of you who have completed Week 1 of the 21 Days of At.One.Ment Fast! You are a third of the way there!

Over the past few days, we took great care to address various forms of sin and offense that may have been standing between us and God.

In Week 2, we will take our time to examine areas in which we may still not be experiencing at.one.ment with one another.

We begin by stating a simple yet profound principle that will undergird what we do this week. It is stated repeatedly in the Bible, particularly in the epistles:

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. (Romans 12:14)

Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. (Hebrews 12:14)

The reason why it is in the epistles is obvious, isn’t it? The early church has been living in community for a while. And, where people rub elbows with one another, at least some are bound to rub others the wrong way.

When we read through the epistles, we become aware of the various differences of opinion, divided loyalties and outright divisions that existed even in this prepubescent period of the early church.

Both of these verses acknowledge the stark reality that it is not easy to live in peace with everyone in a community. That is why we are encouraged to “make every effort.” Because, it does take effort to live in harmony with one another.

In the Romans text, the apostle Paul says something very significant to our Fast this week. “As far as it depends on you.” In other words, he is encouraging us to simply do our part, the part that depends on us, and not get all caught up in what someone else is doing.

After all, we cannot change anyone else. We let God change others. But we do what we can to make the changes we need to make, as directed by Holy Spirit.

Jesus reinforces this while delivering the Sermon on the Mount with this command: “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.” (Matthew 5:23, 24)

Jesus wants us to make sure that we have at.one.ment with one another before we can come as one before God. Worship can wait while you work things out with your offended brother or sister. Resolving resentment takes priority over presenting the offering.

Please note that Jesus calls you and me to go on the offensive and take the first step, and not wait for the other party to come to us first.

That would meet the criterion of “making every effort to live in peace with everyone”, would it not?

Over the next few days, we will look at specific instances of offense that may be preventing us from experiencing at.one.ment with one another.

In the meantime though, would you resolve to do everything that “depends on you” and go on an all-out offensive to wipe out offense?

I hope so. I pray so.  Let it be so.

For the past two days, we have looked at how we can be offended by God when He does not meet our expectations or answer our prayers according to our timetable. Of course, that offense then stands between us and God, preventing us from fully experiencing the at.one.ment that is already ours.

I trust that you have repented (as necessary), removed any walls that may have been erected and replaced the ungodly/unbiblical lies with revealed truth.

At the root of all offense against God is a lack of understanding or ignorance about the true nature and character of God.

Job discovered this in a powerful encounter when God shows up in response to all the questions Job raised about his “undeserved” suffering.

Did you note how God provides no pat answers? Instead He asks questions that put Job’s suffering in perspective. You can read them in detail in Chapters 38-41 of the book of Job.

The Reader’s Digest version of God’s lengthy speech is: “Hey Job, you have a very limited understanding of who I am. To put it even more bluntly, you are ignorant.”

Here is part of Job’s response to God’s speech: “Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.” (Job 42:3) Job admits that his ignorance was responsible for his outrage against his Creator.

In these words from Isaia 55:8-9, God makes it clear that we cannot fully fathom the way He works: “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.”

When we speak and act out of our limited understanding of God and His ways, then we can allow offense to enter into our spirit.

So, the first step in preventing offense from getting in the way is to acknowledge that “Now we only know in part.” (I Corinthians 13:12) and that Daddy knows all. Daddy knows best.

Especially when we cannot make sense of what is going on at any given moment, when we do not have total clarity, when it goes against everything we may expect of God, could we could simply acknowledge the truth that “In all things God works together for good for those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose?” (Romans 8:28)

Perhaps we could go one step further as Job did when he made this incredible affirmation of faith:  “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.” (Job 13:15) Wow!

Either way, dear friend, please be vigilant to ensure that ignorance does not lead to offense and keep you from experiencing at.one.ment with God.

When the people saw that Moses was so long in coming down from the mountain, they gathered around Aaron and said, “Come, make us gods who will go before us.” (Exodus 32:1)

Spurred by these words, Aaron makes an executive decision to request items of gold jewellery from the people of Israel. They oblige.

Aaron then melts the gold and makes a calf. The people declare the calf to be the gods who brought them out of Egypt. Aaron then makes this announcement: “Tomorrow there will be a festival to the Lord.”

Watch what follows: “So the next day the people rose early and sacrificed burnt offerings and presented fellowship offerings. Afterward they sat down to eat and drink and got up to indulge in revelry.”

Disappointment by the length of Moses’ appointment with God, they opt for a new god.

Sadly, this scenario is repeated on a regular basis among people of faith, including our tribe, the Christian community.

I have seen it when ministering with my friend Heather Curnew as she takes teams into holistic fairs, university campuses, malls, etc. on outreach missions. We simply put up a sign that says: “Free Spiritual Readings & Healing Prayer” and watch people line up to receive ministry.

One thing I have noticed at these outreaches is the number of people who come to us who used to be part of a church at one time, but are not connected with the Body of Christ anymore.

Among the reasons they list for this change is impatience in waiting for God to act, although they would not phrase it quite that way. They just got tired of waiting for God to come through—with healing, money, a spouse, etc.

When someone else came along and offered an option—be it a New Age group, a non-Holy Spirit based healing method or even another faith altogether—they took it, because it seemed as though they were seeing instant results, at least for a while.

Clearly they had assigned a golden calf the same value as the God who had delivered them in the past.

Virtually everywhere Sulojana and I are invited to minister, we hear someone come and say that they are just tired of waiting for the prophetic words spoken over them to be fulfilled and are at the point of giving up or have already resigned themselves to the fact that nothing’s going to come of them.

Sadly, sometimes they come to the conclusion that the prophetic minister did not hear from God at all and start attaching labels such as “false prophet” to them. Some start seeking the services of a psychic or a medium, not realizing that what they are receiving is not revelation from the Holy Spirit but information from other spirits.

See the golden calf scenario repeating itself?

How about you, dear friend? Have you ever allowed impatience with God to enter into your spirit?

Perhaps you have not done something as drastic as the people of Israel or the people cited in the aforementioned examples. But, have you allowed impatience to get in the way of experiencing at.one.ment with God?

Would you take a few minutes to ask Holy Spirit if this is the case? Once again, wait for His answer. Then respond (if necessary) with repentance. Please.

Then he who had received the one talent came and said, ‘Lord, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you have not sown, and gathering where you have not scattered seed. And I was afraid, and went and hid your talent in the ground. Look, there you have what is yours.’ (Matthew 25:24-25)

For the past 3 days we have been looking at different forms of sin that prevent us from experiencing fully the at.one.ment that is already ours through the sacrificial death of Jesus.

Over the next 3 days, we will examine three ways in which people of faith, including Christians, can allow offense against God to stand between us and Him.

The first of these offenses has to do with how we view God. More precisely about the ways in which we may have developed a twisted image of God or a misunderstanding about His true nature and character.

Quite often, when I am visiting with a family that has experienced the unexpected loss of a loved one, it is not uncommon to have someone blame God for not intervening or for allowing it to happen or for punishing them for something they had done or not done.

While it is natural to ask: “Why” and wonder why it happened, there is a tipping point at which a person can move into developing an offense against God, hold a grudge and even lose faith in Him altogether.

Perhaps you have done this too, or know others who have, amen?

In the so-called Parable of the Talents, the servants who received five and two talents respectively take risks and increase the value of their portfolios 100%. They are rewarded for their efforts handsomely with more responsibility.

However, the servant who received one talent does nothing with it. Here is his explanation of his reason for inaction:  ‘Lord, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you have not sown, and gathering where you have not scattered seed. And I was afraid, and went and hid your talent in the ground. Look, there you have what is yours.’

What sets apart the first two from the third servant is their belief about their master. The first two believe that he rewards risk, so they invest their capital and double it. The third one sees his master as a demanding boss with a reputation for being unreasonable. So he does absolutely nothing with what was entrusted into his hands.

Isn’t it true that sometimes we allow an unhealthy/unbiblical fear of God to erect a wall between Him and us? Now we jeopardize our chances of experiencing at.one.ment to the fullest possible measure, do we not?

This is why one of the key components of Sozo ministry (to which we have referred in previous posts) is the Father Ladder. You (the Sozo-ee) ask each person of the Trinity this question: “Is there a lie I am believing about you?” Once you receive a response, the Sozo minister helps you to seek and receive forgiveness, renounce the lie and replace it with the truth.

Dear friend, would you take some time to ask this question—either right now in the privacy of prayer time or in the context of a Sozo ministry session or other setting—and see if you are holding any offense against God because He did not meet your expectations?

Ask Him for a revelation of the truth. And let go of the offense. Please.

You will be amazed at the difference it makes in experiencing at.one.ment with Him!