“If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.” (Matthew 18:15-17)

The wisdom of Jesus in helping us deal with conflict in the church is simply amazing.
It is simple.

Step One: Meet one on one. If that doesn’t settle it, take
Step Two: Take one or two others with you. If you’re still not able to resolve it, take
Step Three: Share it with the church community. When this fails, then finally take
Step Four: Shut the door.

It is amazing.

Keep it simply between the two of you. If that works, then no one else ever needs to know that there was an issue between you. Only God and you both know.

When Step One fails, take no more than two others with you. Once again, keep it as hush-hush as possible. Use gentle persuasion, not force or pressure.

If there is still no way to settle the conflict, take it to a larger group. As a last resort.

After all three steps are exhausted, now you can treat them as an outsider.

Sad to say, but in thirty plus years of ministry, I have witnessed more violations of this process than not.

Even sadder to say, in those three decades, I myself have violated this process on more occasions than I’d like to admit.

Needless to say the folly of not following Jesus’ words has always led to needless pain.

More often than not, the mistake that I have made is to skip Step One and talk to others first before meeting with the offending (offended) party.

In a way, our employment systems encourage this process, don’t they?

If you are part of a union, you are asked to file a grievance and involve others right away so you are not forced to do the confronting yourself.

Even in the church, in our denomination, for example, we have a Ministry & Personnel Committee that both staff and members can contact when there is conflict.

As valuable as this process can be, the issues do not usually get resolved without the parties meeting face to face, even if it is in the presence of two or three others. So, eventually it is one-to-one communication that settles the matter.

Now, do you see how wise Jesus was to suggest that we do this first in the process laid out in Matthew 18?

The reason why we are tempted to skip Step One is because it is the most difficult one to take.

None of us likes confrontation. We dread the prospect of talking face to face. We are tempted to believe that going through a third party right off the bat is better.

Yet Jesus makes it very clear that we cannot bypass this first step.

In this passage, he is asking the offended party to take the initiative.

Elsewhere, in these words from the Sermon on the Mount, he is asking the perceived offender to make the first move.

“So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.” (Matthew 5:23-24)

Either way, the message is clear, isn’t it?

Whether you are the offender or the offended, you go first!

Will you?

Annie Pain was a saintly woman in her late 80’s, a member of Aneroid United Church, where a newly-minted minister named Jeeva Sam had just begun his ministry.

Raised in the Baptist Church, she along with her family became part of the United Church when it came into being in 1925.

One day circa 1982/83 she overheard a conversation in which I talked about going to the local bar to meet some of our “members” who were not usually present in church.

Her radar went on red alert instantly. She took me aside and said: “You know I can’t stop you from doing anything. But I don’t think you should be going to the bar.”

“But, Annie!” I protested. “I’m only going to have a Sprite when I’m there. Don’t worry. I’ll set a good example for all our members who are regular patrons.”

“That’s not the point!” she shot right back. “What if some of our young people see you just go in there or even see your car parked right in front of the bar? They don’t know what you’re doing inside or what you’re drinking. It sends them the wrong message–if it’s OK for the minister to go to the bar, it’s OK for us too!”

No matter how hard I tried to justify my position with persuasive appeals to Scripture, human reason and the example of Jesus, Annie would not back down.

This incident came to mind when I read these verses from Matthew 18: “If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to stumble! Such things must come, but woe to the person through whom they come!” (vs. 6-7)

As much as Jesus hung around tax collectors, prostitutes and other so-called “sinners” of his day, he was still careful not to let his example result in someone stumbling into sin (even though it did raise some issues for the religious establishment of his day!).

His words are rather harsh, wouldn’t you say? Obviously Jesus wants to underscore the seriousness of causing someone to stumble.

The apostle Paul addresses the same issue in these words from Romans 14: “Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister…If your brother or sister is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy someone for whom Christ died. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a person to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother or sister to fall.” (vs. 13, 15, 20, 21)

Would it surprise you to know that to this day I have no idea what the inside of the Aneroid Bar looks like?

All glory goes to God. All thanks to Annie Pain.

By means of his one Spirit, we all said good-bye to our partial and piecemeal lives. We each used to independently call our own shots, but then we entered into a large and integrated life in which he has the final say in everything. (This is what we proclaimed in word and action when we were baptized.)  (I Corinthians 12:13, The Message)

The apostle Paul received a revelation that has revolutionized the Church ever since then.

It is so simple, yet so profound.

The Church is “the Body of Christ.”

That’s it. Period.

Please note, Paul does not say that the Church is LIKE a body. He says that the Church IS the Body of Christ.

He is not offering an analogy. He is stating a reality.

It is a reality into which we entered when we chose to be baptized.

Sometimes we describe baptism as a rite of initiation.

Actually it is an act of incorporation.

The word “incorporation” literally means “to be united into one body.” (The Latin word for body is “corpus”).

In I Corinthians 12, Paul lists a number of consequences of being part of Christ’s body.

All of them are meant to hammer home one unmistakeable fact.

We are no longer independent. We are interdependent.

No body part can function on its own. Every body part needs every other part to do its part!

What one part does affects every other part in one way or another. For good or for bad.

What one Christian does affects every other Christian. For better or for worse.

We usually become aware of this when something extraordinary happens somewhere in the Church.

We hear about someone like a Mother Teresa who lays down her life to serve the poor, the destitute and the dying.

The rest of the Body of Christ is inspired by her infectious example to serve Jesus in the face of the “least of these” as well.

At the other end of the spectrum, a scandal comes to light. Whether it involves sex, money or abuse, the rest of the Body feels the pain, doesn’t it?

You may be familiar with The Butterfly Effect, an idea used in chaos theory, that a very small difference in the initial state of a physical system can make a significant difference to the state at some later time

So, for example, a butterfly flapping its wings in Brazil could set off currents that might ultimately cause a hurricane in Texas!

In other words, a seemingly insignificant action can have significant repercussions to those who are not part of the immediate surroundings.

Whenever the Church is rocked by yet another scandal, I often wonder whether the individual(s) involved ever stopped to consider their interconnectedness in the Body.

If we were to simply pause to consider how our actions trigger a Butterfly Effect of sorts within the Body, would we not reconsider anything that might have a negative impact?

By the same token, would we not also be motivated to know that a simple gesture of love offered to a homeless person in downtown Toronto has a positive effect on the Body of Christ in Tokyo?

Paul’s revelation in I Corinthians 12 reminds us that we need to live with a heightened awareness of the incorporation that took place at our baptism.

We do not live our lives in isolation. We are connected with one another. Even our destinies are intertwined.

For we are now part of the Body of Christ.

During the night Paul had a vision of a man of Macedonia standing and begging him, “Come over to Macedonia and help us.” After Paul had seen the vision, we got ready at once to leave for Macedonia, concluding that God had called us to preach the gospel to them. (Acts 16:9-10)

Did you celebrate St. Patrick’s Day today?

Sulojana and I did, even though we are not Irish (not even close…lol!) or have any fondness for corned beef, cabbage or green beer!

No, we did not go to church dressed as shamrocks either! Sulojana did wear an outfit that had shades of green. I wore black pants and a red shirt with no hint of green whatsoever.

Soooo, how then did we celebrate?

Actually, we took some time to study the life of St. Patrick and how he came to be the patron saint of Ireland.

Here is what we discovered.

Patrick was born in Britain to a relatively wealthy family. He was not religious as a youth and, in fact, claims to have practically renounced the faith of his family.

While in his teens, Patrick was kidnapped in a raid and transported to Ireland, where he was enslaved to a local warlord and worked as a shepherd.

It was while he was a slave that he started praying to God and received a revelation of God as He truly is—Father, Son & Holy Spirit. According to some sources, he would later teach this revelation of the Trinity using the three leaves of the shamrock.

After six years of slavery in Ireland, Patrick had a dream in which he heard a mysterious voice: “Your hungers are rewarded: You are going home. Look, your ship is ready.” He escaped, but had to walk for 200 miles to eventually get on board!

A few years after he’d returned home, he had another dream. Victoricus, a man Patrick knew in Ireland, appeared to him in this dream, holding countless letters, one of which he handed to Patrick.

The letter was entitled “The Voice of the Irish.” Upon reading just the title, he heard a multitude of voices crying out to him: “Holy boy, we beg you to come and walk among us once more.”

He was so moved by this that he was unable to read further and woke up. He tried to ignore the dream, but it kept on recurring over and over again.

Eventually Patrick told his dismayed family of his plans to return to evangelize Ireland and soon began his preparations for the priesthood.

When he finally returned to Ireland, he went about preaching the Gospel, baptizing converts, confirming them and appointing clergy to disciple them.

He personally baptized over 120,000 people and planted 300 churches during the 29 years he spent in Ireland.

Wow! No wonder he is considered the patron saint of Ireland.

Were you aware of his story?

When we discovered how Patrick was obedient to God’s promptings in dreams, we couldn’t help but think of how the apostle Paul responded to the vision featuring “a man of Macedonia.”

Like St. Paul, St. Patrick chose to obey the call of God…and the rest is history.

Now you know why celebrated St. Patrick’s Day today by discovering his story, sharing it with others in church and giving thanks to God for his life and witness.

Whether you are Irish or not, whether you celebrated St. Patrick’s Day the traditional way or not, you too can still praise God for St. Patrick, amen?

In the DWOD for Feb. 27, 2013 we shared how we realized the need to “do away with the pointing finger and malicious talk” (Isaiah 58:9) when we started fasting during Lent a year ago.

During this year’s Fast, as we have been reflecting on Ephesians 4 for five days now, the Lord reminds us once again to pay special attention to the words we speak.

“Let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth, but only what is good for building others up as the need may be, that it may give grace to those who hear.” (Ephesians 4:29)

Let’s do a study of some of the key words in this passage, shall we?

The Greek word “sapros” which is translated “corrupt” in this passage is used in three primary ways in Scripture and elsewhere to describe that which is:

• rotten, putrefied
• corrupted by one and no longer fit for use, worn out
• of poor quality, bad, unfit for use, worthless

No matter which meaning you choose, it is clear that there is nothing good about the impact of speech that is “sapros” upon the recipient.

Now we know why Paul urges us not to use any word that falls into one or more of these three categories.

He then goes on to describe the kind of words that the Lord wants us to use.

“Only what is good for building others up as the need may be.”

The Greek word “oikodomen” translated “building” literally refers to the act of erecting a building.

Metaphorically, it refers to words that edify, build another up, promote another’s growth.

This, of course, is in stark contrast to words that tear someone down.

Paul does not stop there though. He goes on to describe the effect our words need to have on the listeners.

“That it may give grace to those who hear.”

“Charis”, the Greek word for grace appears over 150 times in the New Testament, in one form or another. It is the same root from which we get words such as “charismatic” which simply means one who is gifted.

Theologically we often define grace as unmerited favour, a gift we do not deserve.

At a very basic level though, grace is defined as “that which affords joy, pleasure, delight, sweetness, charm, loveliness.”

Perhaps this is what Solomon meant in Proverbs 16:24: “Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”

Notice how the word “gracious” comes out of the same word “grace!”

Would you like to try an experiment?

Using your phone or other portable device, record every word you use to talk to others or describe others in your conversation for an hour, a few hours or an entire day…

Now go back and classify them using the three criteria from Ephesians 4:29:

• “Rotten” words
• “Edifying” words
• “Grace-imparting” words

Would there be some pleasant surprises? Nasty shocks?

Is the new Pope named Francis?

Better still, what if we would pause for a few seconds and watch our mouth before we speak into the lives of others?

“Sapros” words would never see the light of day.

Only words that build others up will make it past the door of our lips.

Those who hear them will respond as though they had just tasted honey.

Wow!

The Lord will smile upon us as we fulfill his command: “Let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth, but only what is good for building others up as the need may be, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

Amen?

Look at these three translations of Ephesians 4:27:

“Do not give the devil a foothold.” (New International)
“Nor give place to the devil.” (New King James)
“Do not give the devil an opportunity.” (New American Standard)

They all agree on two key words: “give” and “the devil.”

It is the third key word on which there seems to be considerable variance.

Checking a Greek lexicon provides some clues.

The Greek word that has been translated in these three different ways is: “Topos.”

You may recognize “topos” as the root of such English words as “topography” and “topology.”

The literal meaning of “topos” is geographical space or place.

In other words, Paul is warning against giving the devil room to enter a space that is rightfully ours.

Don’t give him any ground.

Hence the translation “nor give place” to the devil.

You can see how “foothold” is also related to physical space.

Don’t give the devil an opening to get his foot in the door, so to speak.

The metaphorical meaning of “topos” is opportunity.

Don’t give the devil any opportunity to get a foothold in your life.

Please notice also that he cannot invade your personal space without your consent.

This is clear from Paul’s choice of the word “didomi” which is translated “give.”

This word literally means “to give of one’s own accord.”

We are not forced or coerced into it.

We give it to him voluntarily.

How do we make such a voluntary contribution?

Paul’s list in verses 25-31 includes a number of possibilities:
•    Lying
•    Staying Angry
•    Stealing
•    Laziness
•    Unwholesome talk
•    Bitterness
•    Rage
•    Brawling
•    Slander and
•    Malice.

Every time we commit these and similar offences, we give the devil grounds to enter our sacred space.

Needless to say he takes full advantage of every opportunity that we offer him.

What begins as a foothold can soon end up as a stronghold.

Footholds can be kicked out easily. Strongholds need to be demolished with difficulty.

Clearly, it is preferable to close off every possible access point, such as those on Paul’s list.

As we continue our journey through this season of Lent and the 40 Day Fast, perhaps now is the time to examine ways in which we may be allowing the devil access into our lives.

Would you ask the Holy Spirit to show you how you may have unwittingly provided grounds for him to gain a foothold?

Repent. And then “get rid of” whatever he shows you.

Then replace it with some new behaviour.

“And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” (v. 32)

You have just removed all grounds for him to gain any ground.

Hallelujah!

“Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” (Ephesians 4:3)

Consider a family where there are six people who share the same last name—say a father, mother and four children.

The six of them already have a unity that comes from being part of the same clan. Their bloodlines, genes, history have already created a unity that is indisputable.

However, since no two people in that family are alike, there are times when conflict is bound to arise.

These differences of opinion can result in disputes that disrupt the unity that they have.

As a matter of fact, they can downright destroy the unity, not to mention the family…

Unless someone makes an attempt to work through the issues, and keep the family unit  intact.

Sharing the same last name, gene pool, etc. is not an automatic guarantee of unity.

It takes time, effort and energy to maintain that unity, especially when disagreements arise.

Something similar happens within the family we call the Church too, doesn’t it?

The Voice Translation puts it this way: “Make every effort to preserve the unity the Spirit has already created, with peace binding you together.”

Yes, we are united by the spiritual DNA of Jesus. We share, as Paul reminds us in verses 4-6: “one body and one Spirit…one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all.”

Regardless of all that holds us together in unity, there are also times when conflict arises and threatens to pull us apart.

On the one hand, unity is a given, a fact of life, a created reality.

Yet, on the other hand, unity cannot be taken for granted. It needs to be re-created so to speak…over and over again.

It takes work to make this happen, doesn’t it?

The Amplified Version stresses this: “Be eager and strive earnestly to guard and keep the harmony and oneness of [and produced by] the Spirit in the binding power of peace.”

Conflict has arisen on many an occasion in my life over the past 55 years of being a son and a brother in a biological family as well as a husband and father in the family that formed when Sulojana and I got married nearly 30 years ago.

Ditto for the 30 plus years of service as an ordained minister in the United Church of Canada.

While we have worked our way through most of that conflict constructively, we must also admit that not all of it led to happy endings.

Although conflict is inevitable in any family where there is honest and open communication, how we deal with it can make all the difference.

That is why, even before getting to the part about “making every effort to preserve the unity”, Paul says:

“Be humble and gentle in every way. Be patient with each other and lovingly accept each other.” (v. 2)

Before we get into conflict resolution or seek mediation, Paul calls for a character evaluation.

• “Am I humble and gentle in every way?”

• “Am I patient with my brothers and sisters and lovingly accept everyone of them?”

If the answer is “Yes” to both questions, rejoice!

If not, it’s time to repent, amen?

Shall we make a conscious attempt to turn around and change by the power of the Holy Spirit?

That would be taking the first step in making an “effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”

“Honour your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.”  (Exodus 20:12)

Earlier this year, one of our friends called for help.

Correction. She sent out an S.O.S.

She was totally devastated by what she heard her own mother say over the phone.

To put it bluntly, her mother basically told her that as far as she was concerned, their relationship was over.

She was no longer her daughter.

She wanted nothing more to do with her.

When our friend’s husband asked why, her mother gave a list of grievances.

None of them were grievous enough to warrant such an egregious choice.

What should she do?

As she poured out her heart, it was pretty obvious that there was a lot of hurt in their relationship over a long period of time.

Not just a few years either. A lot of stuff had accumulated over the decades.

Now it had all come to a head.

Not only were they far apart in the geography of the heart. They were also physically separated by thousands of miles.

Which made it even more difficult to do something quickly to bring about some resolution.

We talked about some of the possible actions she could take strategically to re-establish communication.

Such as…contact an intermediary, a trusted friend who could at least bend her mother’s ear, and perhaps even flex her heart.

Or appeal to her mother’s pastor to shed some light on the heart of the matter.

Yes, in times such as these, we need to be “as wise as serpents.”

Yet, it was just as important, if not more, to be “as innocent as doves.”

That’s when the Lord reminded me of the fifth commandment.

“Honour your father and your mother.”

I shared with my friend the struggle Carol Arnott (in the pic with Sulojana) had with her mother and how she was able to deal with it in a God-honouring way.

As a matter of fact, I loaned her a copy of “Grace and Forgiveness” by John & Carol Arnott, where Carol shares her story in detail (available as a paperback from CTF Toronto or as a Kindle download).

Carol points out that when God gave the command to honour our parents, He did not attach any riders to it.

Such as: “Only if they treat me with honour too.”

Or: “To the extent that they honour God.”

Honour. Period. Ouch!

In the end, our friend decided to do nothing more proactive than offer an apology.

“Whatever I may have done to offend you, Mom, please forgive me.”

Signed: “Your loving daughter …………”

That’s all the hand-written note said.

No excuses. No justification. No pointing fingers. No guilt trips. No persuasion.

Needless to say prayer teams united their hearts and agreed with her desire for reconciliation.

Was there a response to the note?

None. Nyet. Nada.

On Valentine’s Day, she phoned her mom and left a message on the answering machine:

“Mom, this is ……….. Just called to wish you a Happy Valentine’s Day.”

Click.

Was it reciprocated?

Mais, non! Natürlich nicht!

Nothing else to do but to wait and pray.

Then do it in reverse. Pray and Wait.

It was not easy.

But, to her credit, our friend took this time to come clean before God about all the resentment she had harboured in her heart for decades, using prayers she found in the aforementioned book.

She had a peace about her relationship with her Father in heaven and her mother on earth.

Tinged with sadness that her mother had not responded with: “I forgive you” and “I love you” as did her Father.

Weeks went by.

One day her husband had a simple strategy downloaded to him from heaven. He acted on it right away.

A few days later…

“Ring-ring…Ring-ring”

“Hi, ……………, this is Mom.”

“Mom? Hi, Mom! So nice to hear from you!”

The tears began to flow, as did the words.

“I love you, Mom!”

“I love you too. You’re my daughter. Always have been. Always will be.”

“Honour your father and your mother.” Period.

Pays to obey, eh?

“You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or serve them…” (Exodus 20:3-5)

Growing up in India, where a majority of people did worship idols, this verse was easy to interpret and implement. Idolatry is a No-no!

However, living in a society where most people do not bow before carved images, is idolatry still a concern?

Consider this passage from Ezekiel 14 where God points out that idols are not always external entities:
“God’s Message came to me: “Son of Man, these people have installed idols in their hearts. They have embraced the wickedness that will ruin them. Why should I even bother with their prayers? Therefore tell them, ‘The Message of God, the Master: All in Israel who install idols in their hearts and embrace the wickedness that will ruin them and still have the gall to come to a prophet, be on notice: I, God, will step in and personally answer them as they come dragging along their mob of idols. I am ready to go to work on the hearts of the house of Israel, all of whom have left me for their idols.’”

What could these idols of the heart be?

Mark Virkler, the first person whom I heard address this issue, puts it this way:

“If I pray about a thing, and the thing is more prominent in my vision or my consciousness than the Lord is, the answer that comes back will be from me, rather than from the Lord. On the other hand, if the Lord is more prominent in my consciousness than my vision of the thing I am praying about, then the answer will come from the Lord and it will be pure revelation, not contaminated with my desires.”

Case in point. The prophet Balaam. Please read Numbers 22 for all the details. Here is the Reader’s Digest version.

King Balak of Moab calls on the prophet Balaam to curse Israel, because he perceives that to be the only way that he can win the war.

Balaam checks with God. God says: “Absolutely not.”

King Balak does not give up. This time he sweetens the pot and promises great “honour” if he would oblige.

Balaam prays again. This time he gets the go-ahead to go with them.

But when he does head out, the angel of the Lord gets in his way. The donkey talks to Balaam…you know the rest of the story, right?

Did you notice where the idol came into the picture?

The first time he prayed with a pure unobstructed heart. The second time he prayed with an idol in his heart.

Even though the answer seemed to be an “Yes”, in reality it was the idol that brought forth the “Yes.”

Can you relate?

What is the solution?

“Therefore, say to the house of Israel: ‘God, the Master, says, Repent! Turn your backs on your no-god idols…and get rid of them so you will realize that I am God.”

Get rid of them.

May I suggest that we ask Holy Spirit today to reveal to us any idols that we may have installed in our hearts.

Then, shall we pray as follows?

Father, please forgive me for allowing these idols to find a place in my heart.
I renounce them right now in Jesus’ name.
Holy Spirit, will you remove them from my heart?
Lord Jesus, you are the King of my heart.
I submit myself totally and unequivocally to your reign. AMEN.